Ms. Piper: It’s Masturbation May–Valentine’s Day For Your Hand!

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PiperEnchantrix

Sun May 21, 2017 12:44 pm

Not that you asked, but my favorite holiday–whether I’m single or with someone–is Valentine’s day.

Now, I know most of you probably don’t care for V-day. It probably provokes more anxiety than anything. I’m sure you MUCH prefer March 14, or Steak and Blowjob Day!

I’m sure it was some whiny little meninist who proposed steak and blowjob day, but the problem I have with that is any little bitch whining about Valentine’s Day–or any day to make his lady feel special–doesn’t deserve a blowjob, or a steak for that matter. He should be forced to nosh on bitch food. A can of Alpo comes to mind!

The only man I’m putting my mouth on is a real man who loves to please a woman and doesn’t go around bitching, moaning, and whining, “When is it MY turn to feel special?”

Since I’m probably being a little hard on you sweet strokers with threats of a bowl full of Alpo, I’m willing to compromise. You and your best friend (and most willing lover) absolutely should have a nice holiday. Fuck, let’s give you a whole month!

It’s Masturbation May–Valentine’s Day For Your Hand
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